Orphan 55 – Review
In the early days of Broadcasting House the three-word mantra of “Inform, Educate and Entertain” constituted the mission statement for all BBC programming. Ringing the school bell for this syllabus was the founder Director General, Lord Reith, whose autocratic approach to programming demanded that all content had to satisfy these criteria. It simply wasn’t enough for families to be entertained in their homes – the masses had to attend classes too. Commissioned in the 1960s, Doctor Who was designed with these ideals in mind, purpose-built to sandwich in between Jukebox Jury and the Football Scores (like a History lesson timetabled in between Music and PE). A weekly sci-fi serial that would tackle relevant issues of the day (racism, tyranny, ecology etc), that would also get people interested in science and history, and would keep kids gripped with its escapist action. For example, on a deeper level, stories such as The Daleks were cautionary lessons about the rise of fascism whereas adventures like The Aztecs subtly tricked kids into learning a little about history without realising it. In time these ‘pure-historicals’ fell out of fashion with the audience, but Doctor Who, like the best of science fiction, would still hold its mirror up to society. The ‘70s alone showcased issues as diverse as membership of the European Economic Community (The Curse of Peladon), environmentalism (The Green Death), and capitalism/bureaucracy (The Sunmakers) – all on a Saturday teatime.
As we entered the 1980s, children’s shows such as Grange Hill were happy to tackle the big issues of the day like drug addiction (with Michael Sheard, perennial Doctor Who contributor in ‘70s, swapping the TARDIS for Mrs McCluskey’s classrooms in a desire to sink his teeth into such rich drama), with Doctor Who arguably taking a step backwards, becoming a more straightforward good vs evil show. Even then, the show continued to pay lip service to Reith’s doctorine. The Peter Davison era tackled colonialism (Kinda), the Great Fire of London (The Visitation) and Magna Carta (The Kings Demons). The Colin Baker years tackled the desensitising effects of screen violence (Vengeance on Varos, ironically itself a video nasty) and looked at the Industrial Revolution and Luddism in the 19thCentury. And finally for the classic era, the Sylvester McCoy years addressed Thatcherism (The Happiness Patrol) whilst the character of Ace was an attempt to reflect modern teenagers living in the ‘80s. The desire to tackle social issues wasn’t as prevalent anymore but in the words of the philosopher, Meatloaf, “Two out of three aint bad”.
When Chris Chibnall took over as headmaster of Doctor Who in 2018 it was clear that social issues were high on the agenda for his Reithian curriculum. Issues had still been a key ingredient of the RTD and Grand Moff’s years but the tone of the show had masked it well. Instead of the kids being fed history lessons on the sly (as in the ’60s), the writers were instead engaging their audience in topics such as racism (Turn Left) and mental health (Vincent and the Doctor), with RTD’s cracking dialogue and Moffat’s dense plotting being the ‘sugar’ to help the ‘medicine’ go down. With Chris Chibnall though, the show has assumed a more straightforward, earnest tone and so instead of hiding at the back of the lessons like naughty schoolchildren, the issues were back on the front row next to the kids late for lessons, or those who needed to be closer to the blackboard. The Doctor had regained her three metaphorical ‘60s companions but in doing so the show had moved from behind the sofa and back into the classroom.
In the preceding two episodes of this series (parts one and two of Spyfall, as they shall evermore be known) the monsters of the week weren’t the Kasaarins but rather the hot topic of data piracy (data = a bad thing, except when the Doctor uses it to stop baddies was essentially the vibe last week) whereas Orphan 55 hamfistedly tackles the zeitgeist of climate change and nuclear war. It’s true, episode 3 certainly does have its issues, although probably not in the sense that writer Ed Hime thinks it does.
This week’s lesson begins without the cold opening, reintroduced in the last story. The ‘fam’, The Doctor (Jodie Whittaker), Graham (Bradley Walsh), Ryan (Tosin Cole) and Yaz (Mandeep Gill), teleport from the TARDIS via an infomercial transport cube to an all-inclusive stay at a Tranquility Spa. There the audience is introduced to Benni (Col Farrell – no, not that one) and Vilma (Julia Foster), a contrived RTD style elderly couple, who are on vacation (Benni is even planning to propose to the unsuspecting Vilma). On arrival, the TARDIS team are greeted by an alien called Hyph3n (who looks and sounds a bit like Barf from Spaceballs would if he had been born in Small Heath), who is the customer host for the facility.
Whilst trying to get a snack from a vending machine, Ryan is infected with a ‘hopper’ virus which can pass from machines to people. With the aid of a crisp packet (alas not Space Raiders) the Doctor traps the virus and acting on a hunch convinces Hyph3n to show what lies behind the door of the heavily guarded “linen cupboard”. In reality this is a high-tech security room complete with armory and technology powering an ionic membrane (now being attacked by the hopper virus) protecting the resort. But why does a holiday spa even need an ionic membrane, ponders the Doctor (whilst everybody at home ponders another question, “What the hell is an ionic membrane exactly”). It was clearly time for the Spa’s dirty linen to be aired.
In charge of the defenses is Kane, the director and architect of Tranquility Spa (think Gordon Brittas but in combat fatigues). At that moment nightmarish creatures begin invading the centre and attacking the guests, isolating Ryan, and his new friend Bella (Gia Ré), from the rest of the group. Inconveniently for the survivors (but convenient for the narrative), the hopper virus has also spread to the spa’s mainframe computer disabling their “guest teleporter”, the ‘fam’s’ only way back to the safety of the TARDIS.
The survivors of the attack, along with Nevi (Jay from the Inbetweeners) the spa’s maintenance engineer, band together in the “linen cupboard”. Inside, Vilma realises that Benni is missing, inexplicably abducted by the monsters (for reasons not fully explained or thought through). The Doctor reseals the ionic membrane keeping out the monsters, which are identified by Kane as the indigenous population known the “Dregs” (possibly the single most unimaginative name ever given to a Doctor Who monster), and discovers the true nature of the spa. In reality it is a “fakation”; an artificial environment built on an Orphan planet (in this case Orphan 55).
Tracking Benni’s location to outside the grounds of the facility, the Doctor and friends plot a rescue attempt (inexplicably taking the Vilma with them – she’ll be handy in a crisis). Travelling across the barren surface of the orphan planet in an armoured vehicle, they are attacked by the Dregs who have been keeping Benni alive all this time as a hostage. Benni talks to Vilma over the trucks intercom (strangely reminiscent of a scene from the Royle Family where Jim pranks Nanna from upstairs, over the family baby monitor) and asks her two questions; will she marry him and will somebody kill him (presumably in that order)? The Dregs attack the paralysed truck once more and in the commotion, Hyph3n is killed whilst Benni is callously shot dead (off screen) by Kane so they can escape.
The survivors reach a service tunnel where Bella reveals she’s to blame for the Dreg’s attack on the Spa. She sabotaged the base in an act of revenge targeted at her mother – Kane! – who abandoned her as a child to build the Tranquility Spa. Bella and Ryan escape via a transporter whilst the Dregs storm the tunnels looking for the group. In an act of pointless self-sacrifice, Benni attacks the Dregs so the others can escape.
Discovering a Russian sign in one of the tunnels, the Doctor realizes a devastating truth – that Orphan 55 is actually Earth, devastated by climate change and an ensuing nuclear war. They’re in an old Siberian underground station. Worse still, mind-melding with a nesting Dreg, the Doctor discovers the monsters are actually the mutated relatives of what was left of humanity, their DNA corrupted by the irradiated planet. Kane apparently sacrifices herself so that the group can progress whilst Bella continues with her sabotage of the facility. Meanwhile the Doctor urges Nevi to fix the bases teleporter and return everybody home. The trouble is to do so they need to have “Cirilium 4” but all they have is pesky “Cirilium 3”. Luckily though (very, very luckily), Cirilium 3 mutates into 4 when attacked by the hopper virus.
As the Dregs close in for the kill, Kane miraculously reappears saving Bella’s life and buying Nevi enough time to fix the transporter, safely evacuating the remaining survivors. Back in the TARDIS the Doctor lectures the ‘fam’ (and the audience at home –thanks for that!) about the dangers of global warming and ignoring the danger signs. Orphan 55 is one possible future for Earth – don’t let it happen, kids!
Aside from the message itself, the story is a very bland, paint-by-numbers, base-under-siege affair. The kind we’ve seen countless times before only done a lot better. There are grey angular corridors which bring to mind the Dalek city on Skaro and there are extras sweltering in rubber monster costumes in quarries. At one point the Doctor even says, “When I say run- run,” second only perhaps to “reverse the polarity of the neutron flow” in the patheon of Doctor Who memes. Most of all though, the episode is a kind of a drab collage from the Sylvester McCoy years (with all the good and bad that this entails). The story begins with an advertisement in the TARDIS (The Greatest Show in the Galaxy), visits a health Spa retreat with a sinister secret (Paradise Towers/Delta and the Bannermen), there’s a character called Kane (Dragonfire), a character called Benni even (Bernice Summerfield from the New Adventures novels), a future Earth ravaged by toxic sludge (The Curse of Fenric), and a brooding Doctor worrying about mysterious time lord origins (Every. McCoy. ever). The episode even achieved 7th Doctor style viewing figures, such was the team’s dedication to their craft on this one. It was certainly a bold move, taking so much direct influence from an era of the show that led directly to its cancellation. Surely if you’re going to copy in class, then it’s best to copy from the clever kids?
It does make you wonder why James Buckley accepted the role of Nevi, based on this script. Maybe he thought playing a mechanic carries the right level of cultural honest-joe stereotyping that it could help him break free from years of being typecast as playing chancers and pathological liars. Ironically the episode actually works best if we reinterpret it as a particularly foolish lie concocted by Jay from the Inbetweeners instead of 46 minutes of science fiction. Either way, Buckley is a good actor and is wasted in this. It’s a shame really because the character of Bella is the meatier part and would have been a better fit for the actor’s talents.
On the subject of Bella, her character surely suffers from the most middle-class form of trauma – neglected as a child whilst her less-than-able mother Kane builds her spa empire. It’s a story we can all relate to I’m sure, and one that no doubt fills the problem pages of her namesake periodical every week.
As for this week’s main lesson, it’s pretty hypocritical for an episode filmed on location in Tenerife to be talking down to its audience about the dangers of climate change. Unless Jodie Whittaker swam to the continent, the production crew is just as much part of the problem as we are. Mind you, the Doctor can talk too – what did Bessie, the Doctor’s Edwardian roadster in the Pertwee years, run on exactly – AA batteries? And what of her other motor – the TARDIS, powered as she is by the Eye of Harmony, a star held in a state of perpetual decay. If a standard black hole emits a Hawking radiation of 62 nonokelvin (as we all know), before going full supernova, is this really a clean energy source and more to the point, would it satisfy the Paris Treaty? And what of the other times the Doctor has been happy to torch a planet or two in the name of the greater good? Let’s not forget the Doctor once turned Skaro’s sun supernova just to defeat the Daleks (Remembrance of the Daleks) and in Doomsday burned up a whole Sun (surely a non-renewable source of energy, by definition) just to make a telephone call when he lives in a phone box. As a student of global warming, The Doctor seems to be more Danny Kendall than Greta Thunberg.
In other matters, one change the board of governors have made to the curriculum since 2018 is to approach the show less as a star vehicle for the Doctor and more of an ensemble drama. Whilst it’s probably wise to take a step back from the “lonely god” themes that have so dominated the last ten years, coinciding as it does with the show’s first female lead, it has the effect of robbing the titular character of some of her agency. In stark contrast to what has gone before, this Doctor often cuts a passive figure; submissive even in relation to the male characters. This is a Doctor who is made to kneel at the feet of the Master and stands by as innocent people die without saying a word of reproach (both in Spyfall and Orphan 55). In fact, a scene at the beginning of this week’s episode, clearly designed to showcase the TARDIS team as a fully functioning family, subconsciously descends into 1950s style gender stereotyping as ‘mum of the group’ the Doctor mops the floor with the kids, whilst daddy Graham checks his coupons and chastises her for being “mardy” this week. He even suggests that what the old girl really needs is a nice spa day to relax. So much for progression in 2020! Focusing on the positives for second, Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor was in slightly better form this week, playing the role with a more assertive edge than we’ve seen to date (certainly in the first half of the episode – more of this please). In particular, at the beginning of the story there were the flashes of those wise earth-mother vibes again, proactively fixing Ryan’s infection from the hopper virus and maternally telling him to suck his thumb to make it all better. Tosin Cole got more to do this week as Ryan’s fleeting relationship with Bella was at the forefront of the story. With such a full ship’s compliment in the TARDIS though this inevitably led to less to do for Graham and nothing at all again for Yaz. Once again Mandeep Gill was criminally wasted. Ironically in an episode featuring the self-sacrifice of three characters, no such sacrifice has been made to the ‘fam’ so the remaining characters can ‘breathe’.
Anyway, pens down… we have to leave it there. Chris Chibnall has just rung the bell for the next lesson – double physics with Mrs Metivier. It’s over in the science labs so you’ll have to hurry. When I say run… run. This week she’ll be discussing Nikola Tesla so do pay attention. It may come up in the season finale.
VERDICT
A bland, unimaginative retread through old ideas repurposed as new ones, but without the charm. The Doctor literally tells the audience the writing is on the wall (in Russian no less), in a preachy, on-the-nose story. A backwards step after the gains made in Spyfall.
Directing – C
Writing – D-
Acting – C-
Issues – see me
Overall – D+
Film Thought 